Lauren Abigail

Will be the name of my first daughter. DON'T WORRY I AM NOT EXPECTING......
(I had to come back in and add this because my brother is an idiot.)

I have always liked the name Lauren and Abigail, but because I have a cousin named Abigail I wouldn't feel right naming my daughter Abby. However it all made a little more sense when I was in Memphis last week....Lauren is a 9 year old little girl who loves pony's, puppies, and Polly Pockets. Lauren has just started treatment for leukemia, and her hair is just starting to fall out and one night while I was walking to my room she was in front of me talking to her big brother about something when she stopped and lifted her mask I knew what was coming next....and it did she was throwing up right in front of me, and we all know how well I do with that, but I couldn't just walk away, so I took a big breath and walked up behind her, grabbed what was left of her hair and held it out of the way so nothing would get in it. When she turned to me and said "thank you" through the tears something hit me...I was not sure what it was but I knew it was there. It was the next day when I had a card under my door and it simply said "when I think of God I will think of you." Thank you for making my daughter feel less embarrassed by doing something as little as holding her hair.
It was a few hours later when I realized that Lauren will always be in my heart and on my mind when I am holding my own child's hair in any situation. That is where Lauren came from.

Abigail came when I met Abby a cancer survivor who was skipping through the hallway of St Jude after her every 6 month check up, she was full of life, and never had a silent moment. I want my kids to be like that. If they are anything like me there will never be a dull moment, but I want them to embrase life through the rough times and learn to trust that its all going to be okay. Even when thier mommy is losing it behind them.