Illinois Weather...

is RIDICULOUS....

That's all!

Lil Brother...

I have a little brother who is the light of my life. He is 18 I am 26. We are 7 years apart in age, but in personality we are the same. I got to spend a little time with him this afternoon after the doctor's appointment I had, and this kid amazed me everyday.

Brandon was worn two months early weighed about 2 pounds, and for the first year of his life he lived in the hospital. We almost lost him many time. From not breathing, turning blue, seizures, and many many stitches...too many to remember, and to count. Now he is taller than I and healthy as a horse..well sorta:)

However, May 18th Brandon will be graduating from high school. This is a milestone I never thought we would have. He will be a freshman at Eastern Illinois University next semester, and he is a volunteer firefighter with the South Wheatland Fire Department. He has a beautiful girlfriend of 3 years, and he makes me laugh every time we are together.

I just wanted to share my little brother with all of you. He is my hero, and I am proud to call him brother but even prouder to call him friend:)

It's a GIRL!!

No I am not expecting.....if I am I MISSED it altogether....




I am however going to show myself off alittle. My whole life I have been known as the tomboy, and grandpa's kid....getting dirty, playing sports, and wearing basketball shorts, windbreaker pants, t shirts, hoodies, and tennis shoes. However today I went a step above....




This morning I woke up ran over to the chapel did what I had to do then I went back to the dorm got in the shower, and came out with some kind of new attitude.



I blow dried my hair, moosed it up, and got all dressed up to celebrate the life a special little girl. What really topped this off were the heels I DREADED wearing even before I got out of bed...but I did it and I walked in a GIRL...

Loss, Laughs, Love, and Life

The four L's many people do not say together. However this blog I hope brings you at least of one them, and the reality the other three happen...

As for loss..most of you know I lost my dad in 1983 at the young and wild age of 2. I do not remember my dad I have pictures, and a few stories that I hang on too. Not to mention the daring side of my life. Tell me to do something...I am pretty sure if it does not resolve in near death I will do it....I am not that silly...to put my life on the line...okay sometimes. Anyway, I get that from my dad. I miss my pops I really do. My birthday and Father's Day are the worst. Christmas is not that bad it is for my grandparents, but we as a family get through.

Laughs....I love to laugh. However I have a hard time thinking of memories that make me laugh. I talked to my grandma last night, and I asked I think the dreaded question "what is your favorite memory of my dad" she answered and I could hear the tears and saddness in her voice. I have many stories that make me laugh about my dad. However last night I was mourning the loss of a young child that was pretty well know on campus here at LCC, and the first people I thought of soon after Brian and Chantell were my grandparents. They lost their only son. Brian and Chantell lost a daughter I got to see many time cheering on the teams here. She gave us all the light of hope, happiness, and love.

As for the love...I do not know what it is like to be a parent. However I watch my grandparents go on eachday knowing that someday they will be right back with my dad. I do not remember my dad, but I love him more then anything. I can see the love that the Mills have for all 3 of their kids. I know that Brian, Chantell, Ryder, and Rylee cannot wait for the day the met with Regan again. However I hope they realize and I think they do there is a whole campus of people thinking the samething.

As of Life....life is in interesting thing. Something that many including me take for granted. However on April 16th, 2008 I think we were all given the reality it is often cut to short by the things it throws at us. Life is a gift from God yet something He knows that will end for each of us. The one we leave behind can only understand how it feels to Lose, Laugh, Love, and understand Life in a whole new way.

Tomorrow I will attend a funeral, I have attended many however the thing about this one....it will be for someone much younger than I, and someone who has touched my life with a family full of Loss, Laughs, Love, and Life.

May God Bless Brian, Chantell, and family.

So small...

Well if you havent noticed I have been MIA for about a week or so. I have having some health issues that I do not want to talk much about, but know that it may or may not be good. However that is not the point of this blog...

The point is that when I stepped foot on the campus of Lincoln Christian College there was and still is a family that has my heart. Brian and Chantell Mills and their three kids Ryder, Rylee, and Regan. Brian is a professor and the director of Student Life. His wife is just pretty amazing. Their littlest Regan is not doing well. She is a fighter though, and God has blessed each and everyone person that has came in contact with her. She amazes me always smiling, and reacts eachtime someone talks to her. She is in the hospital right now and from what it seems maybe fighting for her life.

I am having health problems as I right this I am fighting a headache that will not go away, I am fighting back the tears because I want to be done with school, I want to be healthy, and I want to finish this semester as strong as I came in, but I cannot. However as I read each blog from Chantell and Brian they are fighting a harder battle. They are watching their baby struggle to hang on, and they are struggling to stay strong for the older kids. I fell SO SMALL right now. My battle is not half as theirs. I cannot imagine watching my child lay there and take breaths knowing what could be the last at any moment.

Brian and Chantell are my spiritual heros. Little Regan is amazing. How I can let a headache, rough trips to the bathroom, and many other things I find to whine abot get in the way of my love for the Lord. I will be honest I have given up on God this last half of the semester. I want to be done. I want to do my own thing, I hate the not knowing. As I read each blog from the Mills I read their not knowing and it is MUCH bigger then a headache.

God is amazing I understand that, but sometimes I question each tihng He throws at me. How I can question when I have a part of my family NOT. All I feel is SMALL, embarassed, and ashamed.

Brian, Chantell, Ryder, Rylee, and Regan I LOVE you, and I am praying for you all. Somehow I am sorry for letting small things get in the way. I love each of you!!!!!!!

If you read this pray for Regan and her family as they are fighting!!!

~Cookout LCC style~

One of the families that opened their home to let us shower hosted a cook out for us. Up to the cookout we had nothing but pasta and mexican...which are not on my list to eat anytime soon...

We had STEAK, and chicken, some awesome rice, fresh fruit and salad. It was great. I do not usally eat like a pig, but I did...it was great.

We also had a birthday party for Courtney with ice cream cake and strawberries. We got to play on adult sized tricycles, played 500, and got to teeter totter for adults. It was a fun day!!

bOwLiNg!

After being held hostage in the church from Sunday to Tuesday Les finally said "alright we are going somewhere!"...we all got excited, and we went BOWLING...which I am pretty good at until this trip....I got a 70...that is just SILLY!!!! I was not happy about it, but I digress....

We almost did not make it there SAFE....Les thought he was pulling into the parking lot...oh no it was over a curb, and THEN into the parking lot....we all got a good laugh, and not to mention we took some grass with us....the owners of that lawn I am sure were not happy the next morning:)

I did however make a complete FOOL of myself when I went up to throw the ball the first frame...yes I slipped on my jeans, and FELL right in front of everyone...we all had a good laugh, and after it was all said and done...I was ALRIGHT!!!

It was a great time. Laughs, and just FUN!!!!!!

Baseball, and a quick swim!!

Part of our ministry while in California was outting on a baseball clinic for the kids that attended the after school program the church had. We all wanted to help out, and we all got to play catch with kids who wanted attention. We even got competitive and played an awesome game of "knockout", which I lost because I missed the ball...went right past me:) We also played a quick game of wiffle ball...my team WON...because I hit some pretty cool hits....two doubles, and a in the park homerun! Thats right!! Move over Albert...I am coming up!!!!

These kids that played in the clinic each got a baseball glove, and a baseball that we purchesed before we left Illinois. Yea try getting baseball BATS on the plane....it did not go so well coming back from L.A. LOL....poor Christian....who had to carry them....

Before we had the clinic....Ru and Jenye were asked to clean and scrub the baptistry....They did and it looked AEWSOME....after we had gotten home from bowling....Ru and Jenye...well they deicided to go for a swim in the baptistry.......YES....I am NOT kidding...the most holy place in any church, and they got in their suits, and went for a quick swim.....

My favorite was when Les came upstairs and said "are you guys seriously swimming in there?" Their eyes were as big as golf balls, and they busted up laughing...ALL of us!!!!!!