3 Months

I cannot beleive Braden is 3 months old already...


He spits, HATES his carseat, weighs a whopping 15 pounds, and of course is the cutest child....even though he looks just like his daddy and is starting to get Brandon's personality...impatient and demanding....if this pattern continues we are in trouble!

Just Pray.

This is one of those post that I have put off for almost 24 hours, but it is a post that must be written.

Due to a tragic unforeseen event that took place over the weekend Jamie and I are no longer together. Pre martial counselling as stopped, and all means of communication has been stopped. This is nothing that I did. It's basically due to a double life that was being lived, and honesty was not a top priority. If you have watched the news anytime in the last few days you know what I am talking about. That is all I am saying about it and that is all that will be brought up in this post and future posts. I am asking that no questions be asked. I am going to talk to the people that I need to talk to. I do what you each to know that I am healthy and the baby is healthy.

Because of this I now have the biggest decision of my life to make in the next 7 months. This is a decision that will not come over night, but it is one that only myself can make. It is not going to be an easy choice but it is one that must be done. I know that each one of you have advice and want to be there, but I have to do what is best for myself and the baby. Its not about JUST me anymore.

I do ask that if you read this that you pray. That's all I want from everyone. I know that I have professors, mentors, family and friends following this blog and all I want is the continued prayers. Encouragement can be given however I am not interested in "what anyone thinks is best."

This situation is real and it is one that I do not wish on anyone, but it happening and I will find the ways that is best for me to work through it. When you learn that a double life is being lead and honesty was a priority at all the real sets in and only YOU can figure out how to work through it. I have learned to trust and lean on Christ in a whole new way.

A gift from God.

5 years ago I underwent surgery to remove severe endometriosis and all three doctors said it would take years, possibly needing treatments and help to have kids.

When you start dating someone, and talk about the future together you come too an agreement that yes indeed you want a family, and you agree that you want no help getting that family you start making plans. Its when those plans take you by surprise and happen a LOT faster then you ever expected.

SO, if you haven't figured it out....YES I am expecting a baby.

Here is all the details....

I am SUING Trojan condoms...not only did they say it would take years, but it happened while using protection....and I am never stepping foot in the city of St Louis again...:)

I am due January 31, 2010
The baby's heartbeat was 148 at the first OBGYN appointment
I find out if its a boy or a girl on October 2nd.
I am keeping the name PRIVATE until the day the baby is born. I gave in and decided to find out boy or girl, so I am keeping something QUIET:) I will share the ones we have picked out but the true name will not be reveled until the birthday:)

I am a sole believer that this baby is a gift from God. Not because every baby is a miracle, but because when you hear the words I heard over and over again from three different doctor's and then it happens while taking precautions....God is in there somewhere. SO, I don't care what anyone thinks, says or how anyone feels. I made a choice and knew what could happen. I am asking for your prayers and any advice you parents can give......:D

I have an ultrasound picture so once I figure out how to scan it I will post it:)

Red vs. Green

Target is based on colors....Red and Green.

Red is not good, needs work, and has room for improvement. Green is awesome but of course there is always room for improvement...or really keeping it at that place.

Today was our district assessment.....our district manager and a few other big shots came down from our district office and did a huge walk through looked for improvements, accomplishments and things that make our store different yet successful from others in our district of about 10 stores.

The good news is our store as a whole scored GREEN overall.
However, my department score red. It is nothing I did...it is actually MUCH BETTER then it was before I took over. There is one of me and I have a big job of getting the place at a GREEN level. It will happen....all of my scores were just short of green, so there is room for improvement. I have an awesome team of Executives behind me that is there when I need them. There when I have the questions and pretty much there to whine.

I am not upset...I did all I could in the week we had to prepare. I am excited for the feedback Neil and the rest of the big shots gave me. However I was more excited to see the smile on Abby, Alice and Jess's face when Neil said...."this looks like a whole new place compared to last quarter."

I said this all day yesterday.....98% of the time I LOVE my job.....today is the other 2%. However. really I have realized sometimes you need the other 2% to really enjoy the 98 you LOVE!!!!