Is there really "HOPE"...

I am not one that likes to talk about politics, but I am excited that Illinois has voted out BLAGO....fromt he beginning of his duties as govenor I had had doubts about him. Anyone following Ryan I had doubts for only because we live in the most courpt state in the United States. It was going to take someone that knew what they were doing to get us out of the mess we were left in.
He sure was not it. Many people say the Topinka could not have done any better....that maybe true but we will never know now. She may have helped the mess we are in, but most likely she would have added to it only because that is what they all do when they say "we are going to help the citizens....nah....I am 27 and I have not seen ONE help the citizens....

I do not even have a HOPE everyone id raving about with Obama....this country is in a MESS, and this state to be exact...we may never come out of it....that just gives me more hope that Christ will come back before I am eligible for Social Secerity....because I am most likely not going ot get any....no help, no health insurance, and not one penny I have saved in retirement with Target....yes I am 27 have have over 200 dollars wrapped up in retirement.....I may never see it.....

Changes...

I HATE change...hate it.

However there is a lot of it going around.

All the way from Target to school.

Sarah is officially gone:(

I cried...she cried. I am very proud of her. 11 years with Target....it could not have been an easy choice to make, but she is an artist, and needs to do what she is called to do. I will visit, listen and we will remain the same...maybe not the same, but atleast kinda.

My family. Its growing. FAST. We have 54 days until the "little man" will be here. That is ONE more. NO more holidays....this year..the next holiday we will have a 4 week old or so....it's going to be a BLAST at Christmas....he will be here and he is already the light of everyone world....especially his aunt Danielle...or whatever he decides to call me....:)

School. Well school is the same. Same roommate, same floor, BUT a few new people I call my BEST friends. Here at LCC we have to go to SFG...and those girls are becoming more then friends, they are becoming family. They know me...they know what is wrong, and they know how to tell it like it is....so in away its CHANGE....

I was sitting in class Friday afternoon waiting to get done, and I decided to to the unthinkable change.....I got a haircut.....not just a trim....but a CUT....

7 inches...GONE....this requires actually getting up and doing more then a quick brush and a ponytail....this means a straightener, hair "putty" its like WAX...and my hair....doesn't move:P I ABSOLUTELY love it...:)

So in the end of all this....sometimes change isn't bad. New people, new attitudes, and new ways of doing things. So I guess I will embrace change...because in the end its all going to be GREAT change:)

................just getting used to it....yea that's the HARD part:)

Dog treats and Mt Dew....

I totally forgot about this, but at Christmas my sister's boyfriend made a comment.....you should never make a comment in front of anyone in my family because they always hear the ones you dont want them too...hince why I have 50 dollars worth of Victoria Secret gift cards sitting on my desk....but anyway.....

Zach said "hey....who would give my five dollars if I ate this"......we all said "what".....he said this "dog treat".....and yes you guessed it.....every boy in my family took him up on it.....he ate it.....so DISCUSTING, but he was a pro at it....and ended up about 20 bucks richer in the end....

...so it happend....

I was at work a few days ago, I opened, and was tired but I digress.
My boss Sarah came up to me, and was chit chatting about something nothing more then important....we often have friendly chats about life, and school. However, these words came out of her mouth..."I have news..." I am thinking OH NO...I am not ready for a NEW move in the store....I am just getting used to where I am....so I said "okay."
...and this is what she said "I am resigning from Target.
Sarah is off to bigger and much better things. She has taken a job with Richland Community College in Decatur, as a music teacher, and she is also going to start having private lessons in piano and someother instrument she has a Masters degree in. She is an artist, and has worked for Target for 11 years, so its time. Time for her to go on and do what she does best.

Soon after she walked away this thought came to me...."sometimes you just got to do what is best for you, no matter how many people it hurts, or how many people are saddend, you are the only one that can make YOU happy." Sarah has taught me a lot since we have worked together, we have shared talks, laughs, disagreements, but in the end she has always been there. So...I can only take what she taught and pass it on. I will continue to do my best at Target, and I will try not to cry when I say goodbye on Friday.

I am happy for her, but I dont want her to go due to selfish reasons. I am not ready:) We have agreed to stay in touch and I am happy for that.

Um....wow?

So ,I have been doing a lot of soul searching...if you call it that....not even sure, but a few weeks ago I came across some YouTube videos that changed my life a little. I am going to try to put the last video I watching in this blog, but that is hard when you have no clue how to do it:)

Anyway, these video's were pictures taken throughout one little 5 year old's battle for his life. He and his family live in Iowa, and he has a twin brother named Caden. Coleman was diagnosed with a brain tumor at the young age of 3, and he and his family started a long journey of chemo, radiation, and many trips to the hospital, but here is the amazing thing about it....they did it as a family. Mom, Dad, brother and patient. Each one of them right next to Coleman every step of the way. It was the last video that touched me most, that got through my thick skull that..."Danielle you are needed in the Kingdom, and I want you to work with these families." Families that are going through what seems like "hell on earth" watching their kids going through something no one should ever go through child or adult. A terminal illness.
I have been keeping up with Coleman and his journey, I have started praying for him and his family, just like I have been praying for my own family members battling some pretty serious health issues.

So here is the thing. I LOVE kids, but I am not sure I want any. I want to be there when it seems like their world is crashing right in front of them, but most of all I want to represent Christ in away I never thought I would be capable of doing. This is going to require much more then an education....its going to require holding back tears, holding hands of a child that needs nothing more then prayer, and being with a family who is losing one of the most important people in their life. This is what I want to do...and it all came to me watching a family go through something as terriable as this.

So, how do I go about something like this. Well I have begun the process of working with the St Louis Children's Hospital Chaplaincy program. I have also started looking into St Jude's Hospital in Memphis Tennesee. You start out as a volenteer, then to an intern, and then to a full pleagded chaplain. YES...this suprizes me...I wanted to work in a church doing youth and children stuff, but God placed termanially ill children, their smiles, their laughs, and their tears on my heart. There is something about a sick person that makes you see things in a whole new way. I can promise you....these familes will touch me MUCH more then I will ever touch them.

As for little Coleman....he lost his battle on the 6th of Januray, his twin brother lost his BEST friend, and his parents lost a son. Something that should never happen, but in todays fallen world it does. To know that this has been placed on my heart makes me what to go now...but I will wait...I will go through the processes, and I will let God take me where I need to go.

I ask all of you who read this to pray for the Larson's as they begin a new life, and I ask that you pray for me, as I start this process and that I continue to grow in this desire to go out into the Kingdom....the Kingdom that needs me.


As for the video I am going to try, but I am going to warn you its going to make you cry. Turn up your sound....if you have kids.....old or young.....take them hold them....or call them....because you never know, and that is the hardest part of life....you never know, but we have HOPE.....

Okay....you are going to have to go directly to the YouTube site. So go to. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnDx26D_JuA&feature=channel and that will take you to the video. This way you can see more videos of the whole journey this family took together.

"Little Prince"

As much as I hate shopping I went into the "See Spot Save" also known as the "dollar section at Target....not ever thing is a dollar anymore, but anyway I went over there on my break and found something that was PERFECT....I have been looking for one, I looked in the regular picture/hom decor section at Target, hallmark, Wal Mart...needless to say I have been looking. After just a brief glance I found the one I WANTED, and the one that fits.....(and it was only a dollar...:)

....right now the ultrasound pictures will do, but in just a few weeks there will be a baby in there....a baby I get to hold, kiss and stare at....and when I picked this up....it all came to me. He is real and he is going to change a family.....He is a "little prince."

Things I ponder....

The paper is done, so now I am trying to make myslef tired.....

these are the things that make me wonder......

PENNIES...what purpose do they serve...it take 100 to make a dollar, that takes to long.

The nasty taste of envolopes...who thought of that...so discusting, but we still lick them, and complain about it....

Painted celings....and then to put designs in them...?

Why do people need more then one keychain.

The smell of burnt popcorn...popcorn should NEVER be burned...there is a button just for popcorn on most microwaves...

Why is it when you need something personal hygiene products you can NEVER run out all at the sametime....toothpaste one week, shampoo the next, two weeks later tampons....has NEVER made sense to me.....

The local news station....national news stations for that matter.....I think they find recent internet news JUST to fill space. Who cares long long it has been since someone clipped thier toenails....sad but true.

Migraines....hate them.

Tough love...the best kind, but the worst all at the same time.

High beams and Lows beams on car lights.....either way people cannot see you or you HATE that you use the high beams.

Peas? Really....

Fruity gum....MINT is the way to go.....gum is ment to smell good to others....the fruit makes me run.

Things like this...taking time to actually think about things you think about...and then write about them:)

Goodnight!!!
This is proof....intensive week makes us CRAZY.......

What's in a NAME....

I REALLY should be writing a paper for this class...BUT I need a break, so here I am:)

We ALL know by now "little man" is nameless....he has a last name, but no first or middle...there are some choices, but I think mommy and daddy are waiting until they see his face....because we only know what the left side of him looks like....SO STUBBORN....
.............but there is more to this name thing that I am thinking about.....

WHAT am I going to be called?
Dani
Aunt Dani....
Aunt Danielle
Aunt "D"....Brandon couldn't say my name for awhile, so I was "D" or DA-Yell.....
....
I personally am thinking "Auntie D." Its easy, fast, and sounds much more COOL then all the others....
So, Auntie D it is....

Either way....whatever he calls me....it will be pretty cool....this AUNT stuff is growing on me.....

A brother/sister kinda thing....

My little brother....who is oddly taller then I am, going through a lot of life changing stuff right now, but is still my baby brother....called me a few nights ago and was kinda down, and he said "you got a sec...", I said "of course whats up"...I was driving home from work, (my quiet time for the day.) Brandon simply said "big sis I am scared..scared about being a daddy, scared about not knowing how to do all the stuff that comes with a baby, and scared to death about sending my son in for his "surgery". I paused....I said "surgery, Brandon the baby is not even here yet, what surgery could he possibly need...?" Of course it came to me soon after I said it, and I thought Danielle you are such an idiot......:P

I didn't know what to say, how to react, or think for a second to if he was kidding....he was not kidding. We talked, and I pretty much said these words....

"All you gotta do is love him. You are not going to do everything right, your going to make mistakes, he is going to make mistakes, and you all three will learn as you go. Babies do not come with instructions....BROTHERS do not come with instructions (I wish like heck they did but they don't.) I only want the best from my baby brother, and I know in my heart he is going to do just fine.

In the middle of this circumcision conversation with my 19 year old brother, (....who can tell anyone what is going on in a ultrasound that he trusts me....he comes to me with whatever is going on, he comes with questions, he comes with a joke or two, and of course he ANNOYS the crap out of me some days....but in the end....he will always be my little brother, and I will ALWAYS have his back....

....he maybe taller then me, becoming a parent in just a few months, but in the end he is my baby brother, my best friend, and in just a few short months he is going to need his big sister in a whole new way:) I cannot wait....I am scared to death for them, but all I can do is love them, support them, and watch them......

.......all THREE of them.....

As for the answers I gave Brandon to his circumcision questions....um all I could say was "He is not going to remember any of those moments....YES its going to hurt, but he will heal, and he is not going to hate you....that is Brandon's fear....the baby will hate him and Katie....

I do not know a thing about this subject.....but I was glad I could be there for him:)